Yesterday I told a story that was remarkably easy for me to tell. It was also remarkably sad to read.
There are things about my situation that I simply cannot change — not right now, at least. Financial commitments like student loans and rent keep me from simply quitting my job. Then, there is also the part about figuring out what to do instead and beginning again.*
What I can do is find my strength and change my tone.
Starting each day with a challenging workout helps me find my strength. Today, I began my morning with a forty-five minute strength training session in my apartment. I started with a series of barre exercises; moved on to upper and lower body exercises using ten pound weights; and concluded with a series of abdominal exercises, push ups and dips on the mat.
On my way to work, I moved on to the mental exercise of changing my tone. The two words that I say out loud to myself alone in an empty elevator or my shower after a particularly bad day at work are: I quit. There is something so soothing in the surrender of uttering those words.
I quit feeling sorry for myself.
I quit wishing I could go back in time and make different choices.
I quit feeling like a failure.
I quit wasting energy on being sad.
I quit telling myself that there is nothing I can do to change things.
I am changing things right now.*
The title of this post was inspired in part by the shorts that I wore during my morning strength training session: Lululemon Strength & Tone Shorts. I am in no way affiliated with Lululemon, and they did not sponsor this post or compensate me in any way. I will simply say that I love the brand, and appreciate the witty and often insightful names that they give their products. I also appreciate their functionality, special features and longevity.